Are you naughty or the usual “nice guy”? If you think being nice is the great way to go, well you have another thing coming. Being tagged as the “nice guy” is not the greatest compliment you will ever receive. It’s not that because you like to please other people with your nice guy attitude; it’s the fact that you are a “suck up”. Yes, you heard it right. Today’s definition of nice is being a “suck up”. It means you are being used by other people in order to please them. Being nice to other people means you always put them first rather than yourself. Nice guys have the mentality to help other people and be a good role model to others. It is a good deed, no doubt. If that is your perspective then you have truly embraced your role as a nice guy. There is nothing wrong in helping other people. But taking it a little bit too far is not good for you, like sacrificing your needs for the sake of other people. You have a problem there; it is called the nice guy syndrome, which is now being studied carefully. If you don’t believe that being a nice guy is not good anymore, here are some signs that you are now experiencing:
Doing everything you can only to please other people
Let’s face it. Everyone wants to have their very own servant — a person who does everything for you. Some people are just plain manipulators, and if you are the nice guy or girl, you don’t know that they treat you that way, a servant, because all you want is to please them. That is a heavy burden to fulfill.
Being treated like a puppet
That is what a nice guy or girl is – a puppet on a string. If you still believe in the inconvenient truth that if you are nice to others they will also be nice to you, you are wrong, not all people will react positively. They may see it as an advantage to use you. Not only that, they may also demand more out of you, their servant.
Forgetting your responsibility to yourself
If you now succumb to the fact that you are a nice guy, surely you will focus all your attention to the people treating you like that. You will start to neglect to take care of yourself and forget to enjoy life because your life spins around to the people you want to please. As a result, you became more close to illness and stress because of these people trying to take advantage of you. And once you have accepted that you are a nice guy, you will forever be one. You will be more assertive to the role of a gullible, nice guy.
But here’s the other and BETTER side of the coin
Never at any time doubt that being nice to someone is bad. It only becomes bad when you are surrounded by manipulative and inconsiderate people, or those that translate your kindness as stupidity. In this case, there is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with being raised by nice and decent parents who taught that a good attitude is important in one’s success. Never let these manipulative people make you believe that you are on wrong and they are right. It’s just based on the principle of what is right or wrong – at least you must be wise enough to know the difference. There is no reason to abandon the inner trait that you have and is comfortable with. Simply know what makes this very same trait bad for you.
Continue to be nice, but only to those who understand niceness
To help you bring back your own life back, start by reassuring yourself that being “nice” is still the best way to live, however exercise this trait only to those who are willing to do the same or to those whose life is far less than yours. Simply put, extend this nice attitude to charity, where your niceness is never put to waste and your actions are always treated with a sense of gratitude.
“NO” is the best word that you will ever know
Your worst enemy is yourself and “yes” is a word that sabotages your good personality. Learning to say “no” will not hurt anyone. Likewise, always doing things for others is actually not helping them; you have just taught them to become lazy and unresourceful. In fact some known and successful people are grateful to those who once said “no” to them because they were forced to try harder. Keep this in mind so you’ll never have to feel bad by saying ‘no” to others.
Being labeled as a nice guy is not that bad but everything has its limitations. You must know when to stop attending other people’s need and start taking care of yourself. If you really want to help other people, simply assist but do not let yourself do all the work.