Some people find announcing their new relationship too exciting, as if they need to let the whole universe know of this “change in status”. With the advent of social media where your friends are considered lurkers with valid permission, it’s hard to keep your status a secret. More so, almost all social media platforms provoke you to “shout it out”, leaving no one in the dark. Take Facebook for instance. Your friends may really be too eager to know what’s going on with you when all they read and see about you are frequent romantic hints and images of you with an unnamed girl on your posts. Your “check in” obviously means you’re out on a date, or that image of T-bone steak and potato sidings looks like a dinner shared by two. In as much as they don’t want to meddle, it’s just so hard not to take notice. Likewise, it’s so easy to spot a guy madly in love on the Facebook.
You are now in the middle of choosing between telling and not telling. Don’t tell and watch your current girlfriend get mad at you for not being proud of her and your new status. Tell and see yourself bombarded with random messages even from friends you don’t know very well. When is the right time to announce it on Facebook?
Wait three months
You are not thinking right if you want to announce your new status as quickly as you can say “taken!”. What’s the rush anyway? Three months seems like a long time to wait, but as you may observe the relationships around you, anything “can” happen in three months or even less. You and your girlfriend are still in your adjustment period; you’re still not over the petty quarrels that are too common in a new relationship. What if something goes wrong? Wouldn’t it be more embarrassing to “have to explain” to your network of friends when you go back to the “single” status?
No more than four months
Well, announce it a little over four months and your friends will start to wonder if you’re really going out with this girl on your post whose anonymity you try to maintain, or whether both of you are just locked in the “friend zone”. But either way, for the sake of those who do care to find out, announcing it would keep them mum and you’ll be able to avoid the “unnecessary” message post of these people. You wouldn’t want your friends to make posts like “hey dude, I’d like to hook you up with my cousin, call me!” – that will definitely get you into trouble. Likewise, if your girlfriend didn’t have any issue about announcing her new status on her own Facebook account, if in four months you still can’t do the same with yours, then better prepare yourself for a nag.
When you are ready
So let’s make this suggestion non-time bound, which means this is literally anytime you are ready. This could be anywhere between the time she said “yes, I’m officially your girl” to the time you both decide to exchange house keys. Though sooner than three months could mean you’re desperately in love, waiting longer than that may mean “I’m just not sure”. But making the announcement has a certain feel-good at it that new lovers enjoy together – and if it feels that good then why keep it a secret?
When your ex has changed her status
It may be possible that you’re still into your ex. That’s just understandable, especially if your ex is among your friends on Facebook, and neither one of you is “blocking” each other. You may be secretly “going by her lead”, waiting for her to announce her new status to hint to you that she has finally moved forward. When the time comes that she does this, whether this is good news to you or not, you may find yourself doing the same. Being ready is really a subjective feeling, only you can tell when that time is.
Do you really have to make the announcement? Some would violently disagree. If you’d interview around, you’ll be surprised to know that a lot of people find more reasons to avoid officiating your romantic affairs on Facebook– they say Facebook can and does ruin relationships. She may demand you posting countless pictures of her, your ex may invade, hers may too, friends may say insensitive remarks, others may mock you, her unreasonable jealousy for your online friends. Seriously, the reasons are valid. If you happen to come across this unfortunate situation in your past relationship, then maybe it’s better that you start protecting your new one. Simply delete the status setting in your account and just tell her you prefer to keep your relationship private or limited only to your common friends. And if she cares enough, she will understand.