Dating is always fun, most especially when you are with the girl you really like. When this is the first time you will date her, it’s possible that you are planning the best you can afford. Or maybe you are considering going beyond your means, after all, you are trying to impress her. On the other side, the girl will indeed feel special when she is taken to a fine restaurant for a French dinner so to speak, coupled with some wine and truffle endings. It’s going to be a dinner date to remember – it is for her as it is for you, because you’ll remember the hole in your pocket that you just made.
Let’s face it, the half-truth in each date that you go to is that they are “investments” for something you hope for in return. Sure, you too enjoy spending for a date especially when you and your date would really have a good time. But what if it didn’t turn out well? Can you still really say that planning a special date that is beyond your means still worth it?
Notice how better you feel when a chef personally attends to your delicious food or when the waiter in a tux pours out some wine for you and your girl? That is what others would call “the finer things in life” — and wanting to have more of that is not really a bad thing. The advantage is it forces you to strive hard at work so you can feel like that again, to feel “successful” so to speak. Likewise, being in the midst of “fine men and women” gives you the opportunity to learn the etiquette of the upper class. From table manners, to the way they dress to the way they talk and exchange points of views. Giving enough time, you will start to develop the confidence to act and speak with and like them. But this is not to say that you should force yourself to spend way above what you can only afford at all times. Once or twice of the “finer things in life” do have advantages too.
Unless you have a stable job that can pay for a “lavish” date then obviously the cons are on your side. It is only worth trying out when you have the salary to pay for it every once in a while; but if this is not the case then you might as well reconsider.
First of all, the big con is that you’ll be forced to “pretend” or to “put on a show”. Really, this is very hard to put up and your girl will notice. She might show some appreciation knowing you took the effort to treat her to a fine dining restaurant, but then again she might not. She might just take it against you that you are just pretending to be who you are not — and your actions will show it. If you don’t have any idea how to act properly in places like a fine dining restaurant, for example, you will start to feel awkward and unnatural. You will have a hard time talking or enjoying the moment because you will be very conscious of your every move. Your mind will wander on the bill and what you’ll do just in case you are short of cash. For sure, you will fail in the “charm” department. And if you successfully pulled the night off and your girl is hinting at another date just like that, you’ll have a hard time refusing. If it took you at least three months to save for a date like that, then that’s about the same time you’ll see her next.
Keeping a good balance
If it makes you feel better about yourself knowing you can take your girl on a lavish night out then do so by all means, but make sure you keep it on a good balance. Balance means not putting yourself under financial pressure simply because you want to spend for something you obviously can’t afford. If the girl is special to you, you may still plan for a date that is not as expensive, somewhere you can be comfortable; but the important thing is somewhere your budget permits. After all you want to know if the girl enjoyed the time with you or just the treat you gave her.
In dating, be creative — it doesn’t really matter when you’ll take her as long as the place and activities are well thought of. She agreed to go out with you because she likes you and she likes to spend some time with you. That’s the most important thing. Take the pressure off yourself and just be you.