You’re starting to feel overwhelmed by this feeling of crush with this girl; it’s been going on for quite a while now. You have every reason to like this girl – she’s funny and smart, down to earth and very friendly too – there’s not one guy you know that doesn’t like her. But you have the advantage; she’s closer to you than any other guy. You believe she likes you too; otherwise she wouldn’t be spending enough time with you. Every once in a while you catch her staring at you from a distance, a kind of look that says “I wish to be your girl someday”. But then at times, you feel she’s ignoring you, not showing you the special treatment you’re used to, and this confuses you. You want to approach her to finally tell her your intentions but the fear of rejection seems to always get the best of you.
It’s obvious at this point that she likes you too, but her fears might be different than yours. Sometimes your relationship as really close friends is already in the comfort zone, there’s just no way to see it otherwise. This means, the fear of taking this relationship to a new level is so scary that she might end up losing everything – so why ruin it in the first place? This is a classic issue among friends who are starting to fall in love with each other. If at some point you feel her fears are valid and actually agree with her, then why not put your feelings to a test, for you to make sure that pursuing her to be your girl is really what you want?
Can you imagine her being with someone else?
If you are falling deeply in love with her, your answer would obviously be “no”. On the other hand, if your deep feelings only harbor on friendship then you’d feel that you’ll be fine with her being with someone else. It’s now time to try your luck in turning this dear friend of yours into your lover.
Hang out with her alone
If you’re used to hanging out in groups, this time insist on going out just the two of you. Work this out by planning for a night out that you know no other of your common friends can join except her. This may feel a bit awkward at first, but if she initially approves of the idea, then you know she likes it too. When you’re already together, make sure to look and act comfortable (no matter how anxious you might feel) so she would too. Don’t try to talk very personal stuff just yet; instead discuss about the usual topics that you enjoy talking together. Try making the night humorous with your funny antics, as opposed to turning it into a romantic one. You want to make her feel comfortable with your presence, so keep that in mind first. The right time will come when both of you can now comfortably talk about being more than friends.
Increase your frequency of communication with her
If you’re just used to keeping in touch with her once every two weeks, try to up that at least weekly in combinations of text or call or short online chat or email. But make sure you don’t overdo it; you only want to build consistency here, not make her feel creepy. Also, you don’t want to appear too desperate, right? Find something interesting to say when you keep in touch, something you’re sure she’d like to know. Avoid giving her a call just to say “hi, I just want to know how you’re doing” – this surely sounds lame. Better would be “hi, I happen to be here at the record bar and I saw this album of your favorite singer, the one you’ve been looking for? Do you want me to get this for you?” If she says yes, then congratulations, now you’ll have a good reason to see her very soon!
Open up to her so she’ll start to open up to you
Show her that you are not just a funny guy that can make her laugh, but you’re someone she can trust too. Whenever you are together or chatting leisurely, open up to her about your personal life, let her in on some things that no common friends of both of you know. You may ask her advice on something or share an opinion based on a true story in your life. When you do this she’ll start to appreciate your candidness and your trust in her. Eventually she will do the same to you. When both of you are already in this mode, you’ll start to comfortably “need” each other. This will help deepen your relationship.
Make it official
At this point, it’s possible that your common friends have started to take notice in your special relationship and fortunately, no one is making a violent reaction. At best, they are both encouraging you to go for it! If that is the case then it’s time to proceed as planned; it’s now time to talk to her about your true feelings. The thing is, when a girl starts to fall in love with her male friend, it’s hard for her to just come up and tell him she’s interested. Rejection will be painful, unlike if it’s another person that she can decide to stop seeing the moment it didn’t turn out well. You, in this case are someone she can’t just decide not to see; you’re a greater part of her life now. What this means is that you can’t expect her to make the first move. So go and show her what your true intentions are made of.
Friends to lovers. . . Some say this is doomed at the very onset while some disagree and say friendship is one of the great foundations of a successful relationship. Wrong expectations between friends-turned-lovers may also be a reason for failure. But unless these issues are communicated from the start, there’s no reason why two “friends” can’t work something out to make better “lovers” for each other.