If you’ve dated a girl more than a couple of times already then it is highly likely that you really like her, enough to woo her for a romantic relationship. You feel positively about this girl you’re dating because she wouldn’t spend time with you if she doesn’t like you at all. And there could be a lot of reasons why you should really like this girl. For one, she’s beauty and brains, she’s got a great sense of humor and best of all she’s decent. Unlike most guys that you know, you don’t want to be recognized as “settling”. While there is nothing wrong with this word, you don’t like how this means to men these days. By “settling”, you don’t want to just pursue anyone that is below your league. Not that you’re a prize catch for a girl, nor perfect so to speak, but somehow your countless dumb relationships in the past now forces you to look for the “right” kind of girl – someone that is a completed woman and is sure not to give you chronic headaches with her whimpers and whines. And you seemed to have found that girl; the problem now is that how do you keep her interested in you especially when you know that other guys are lining up to have a time of her day too. This is actually no surprise to you; other guys see the same nice things about her like you. But you know you can’t go too far when it comes to making your presence felt even after you’ve dated her for several times now, or you’ll risk making her see you as creepy. There are several ways to keep a girl interested; in our book, we call them rules.
Start with a good assessment of yourself
This is both the first and important step. Of course, how can you pursue a girl that you say is all “positive vibes” when you don’t have any of it in you? This strongly means that you need to stay confident of who you are. Nothing attracts a girl than a guy oozing not just of sex appeal but downright confidence too. Being confident means being assertive in words and deeds, avoid commenting on remarks that will backfire on you somehow, being respected by families, friends and co-workers, being responsible and knowing when to talk and not to talk. Sometimes guys show off their dumb side the moment they open their mouth. So be careful; always remembering that you need to stimulate her intellect too will help you avoid being taken as shallow or lame. You need to keep her excited when she talks to you or chats with you; you must make her “learning-new- things” from you as something to look forward to.
Give her the space that she wants
Let her know with a brief call or chat or email that you look forward to your next time together but take the pressure off – let her know she’s free to decide when this will be. For a girl this means two things: that you’re patient enough to wait for her and that you respect her space, allowing her time to process her thoughts about you. One step forward and two steps back will effectively make her feel your presence and absence, making her miss you more; being “always there” may not work in your favor at all. The basic human nature that says we tend to “want more” of something we find hard to get still stand true even with girls and guys. Likewise, you put more value in a thing that you have searched for far and wide just to have, and the same thing holds true for the girl that you like.
Be who you really are
If you say that this girl is who she really is, then there is no reason to “be someone” you are not. Yes you like her and have this dire need to impress her, but acting to be somebody else may give her not just a wrong impression of you but also “false hope”. Just like you, she has a picture of an ideal partner in her mind and unless you are that person then there is really nothing to worry about. Even if you can “paint” that picture of that ideal guy for her, sooner or later the “real” you will show up and you might just get her disappointed.
Liking a girl enough to “court” her into liking you too may require you to pull on some stunts. But know that the only way both of you can take your mutual feelings to the next level is for both of you to genuinely like each other just as you are. Just because she’s top notch beautiful and hot don’t guarantee that a relationship with her will be a bed of roses. You need someone that will make you feel good as a man and not a puppy that you have to answer to her every whistling call. Now that too is “settling”!