I believe in always being honest with someone unless that honesty will mentally crush them. There are times in life where you must lie to someone because you don’t want to hurt them. We are nothing if not for our self-esteem. Breaking up with someone because you’re no longer physically attracted to them or you just don’t feel a connection to them are times where you must lie in order to break up with them without crushing their self-esteem.
However, not every breakup must include a lie. There are times where you can be honest with her. One of those times is when you’re dumping a person that treated you like dirt. In this case, by all means, crush his/her self-esteem because they deserve it. No one deserves to be treated like dirt. I believe that Karma should step in and get revenge. Another instance when you should be honest with the person you’re dumping is for legit reasons such as moving to another state because you got a job there.
When Dishonesty is a Must
If she’s a good person that treated you well and you don’t want to hurt her, sometimes it’s best to be dishonest about why you’re breaking up with her. For example, let’s say you really like his personality but never were physically attracted to him. This happens all the time. You hope the physical attraction will come in time, but sometimes it doesn’t.
You can’t have a healthy relationship if there isn’t a physical connection. But you shouldn’t break his spirit by telling him how unattractive he is. Let him down in a different way. Instead of focusing on the lack of physical attraction, tell him you just don’t “feel you have great chemistry”. It’s mostly honest without telling the whole truth. You can really hurt a guy’s ego if you dump him because of a lack of physical attraction. This will make him feel ugly even though there are probably many other women out there that find him attractive.
What to Say and How to Dump Him/Her
The hard part is actually going through with breaking up with someone, especially if you’ve been together for a while. Whether or not you’re being completely honest with him/her, there is a right and a wrong way to break up with him. First off, never dump someone in an email, through a friend, or in a text message. Men and women that dump someone this way are lame.
Always do it in person. Invite him/her over and let them know you need to have a talk. Act like you really are bothered by having to go through with this. Tell him/her that you’ve enjoyed your time together but that you “want to date other people”. When asked why you want to date other people, just say that you don’t feel the connection towards him/her that you did at first.