It is very frustrating when you’re serious about a woman because she’s so thoughtful and caring, sensitive and sweet then suddenly she turns to this she-devil and starts to make life difficult for you. Some classic “difficult woman” gestures would be talking to you with a sharp tongue, the ice queen drama, the rolling of the eyes, the pointing finger in your face, and the “whatever!”. These are just a few that a guy puts up with when dealing with a sudden difficult woman.
Of course guys hate it; but because they are expected to act as gentlemen they can’t deal an offense with another offense (no matter how they are dying to do that) – it’s just unbecoming of them. It’s good if you’re not even romantically connected with this she-devil, you can simply walk away if she starts to wag her nagging tongue on you. But for guys who have girlfriends like these then the bad attitude becomes too much to bear. Here are some things that you need to understand when dealing with difficult women . . .
Where are they coming from?
You know what they say: hurting people hurt other people. This goes without saying that difficult women are not happy women. They gladly carry along baggages of past hurt and bitterness. Maybe they’ve been broken hearted more than a couple of times and manipulated or abused in past relationships that they tend to have this “defense mechanism”. They like the idea of relationships but the moment they feel threatened, like they are going to be hurt once again, they immediately put on their guard and act just so tough they’d feel more powerful than you. If you’d think deeply, this is really an act of manipulation that these women aren’t aware will backfire on them in the long run. Quite obviously, this is nothing short of a feministic bullying, a clear sign of insecurity.
No guy in his right mind will want to stay in a relationship with a difficult woman, no matter how much love there is between them. But if you do love your woman bad enough to help and save your relationship, then you must learn to be patient and find ways to “help” her deal with her own demons.
Get to the bottom of it
Be bold in making your woman know that you won’t tolerate her bad attitude. Be bold in telling her how it affects the way you feel about her. If you give in to her whims and manipulations, you are giving her permission to keep on doing that. Instead, talk to her and ask her what the root cause of her senseless drama is. Maybe she’s jealous of somebody who she thinks is flirting with you or maybe she’s insecure that she’s not able to please you – there could be a lot of reasons. Making her feel that you want to talk to her about what’s staining your relationship and not take that against her will make her feel confident to open up to you. When you do this, she may start to see you as an understanding partner and not her “enemy”. Likewise, be prepared to help her out of her “difficult” behavior. And you can do this by not retaliating, because frankly, this will not help. Retaliation will only fire her up and validate her personal reasons to keep being hostile to you.
Do your part
Are you doing your part in making her sure she has no reason to feel insecure or jealous? While insecurity and jealousy are not something she would admit, you must be sensitive enough to take these cues from her or how she acts when she’s with you. Saying “stop being jealous!” or “you’re being insecure again!” will definitely not help. Instead, use spoken and body languages that will “pacify” her feelings. You’ll be surprised at how easily she will change her aura and overall attitude. And when things start to cool down, discuss the manner discretely and let her know what displeases you in what just happened. These discussions will force her to take responsibility in taking positive actions in getting rid of her bad attitude.
But be (very) careful in not allowing her to always step on your toes, even if you have enough patience to deal with her. You too must earn your respect in your relationship. You must learn the difference between being a willing victim of manipulation and pure understanding. Always making it easy for her is actually a dis-service to your relationship and her.
Bottom line, dealing with a difficult woman is both hard and easy; hard if you don’t love her and easy if you do. After all, when you love a person you also try to love her everything about her. But unless your woman is serious enough to keep your relationship then don’t expect her to change her ways just yet.