Almost all the time, a hot date ends in sex in your place or hers. No matter how great the sex was there will still be awkward moments that needed to be dealt with. Do you ask her how you did? If there is no particular reason you want to get up to shower, will you offend her? Do you ask her to leave? Do you leave right away? What was her name again? These are just some of the awkward moments dating men and women face after the first sex. As the man, you should learn how to avoid these moments so that the night wouldn’t turn on a bad note for both of you.
Ok, first things first. Before agreeing (at least to yourself) to take this woman to bed, first find out what she means to you. Do you like her enough to want a serious romantic relationship with her, or do you just want her to be your booty call? Knowing how she stands in your view will allow you to tailor fit your communication with her. If you want to develop a romantic relationship with her, then you’ll be gentle and careful of her feelings. On the other hand if she’s in for a sexy adventure with you then you know you can be a bit “straight” with her.
Wanting to ask how you did
Since, men just can’t get over themselves without asking their partners how well they performed, might as well consider the proper timing in asking this, at least. Asking how well you did could signal that you’re too conceited or too insecure. If your partner is cool with talking about this right after sex, then go ahead and do some small talks but make sure that it is not “all about you”. Ask instead “was I able to please you my dear?” – this shifts your interest from gauging your skills and feels more like you want to know if you’ve pleased her. This line of questioning will make her feel comfortable in opening up to you and somehow in what she’ll say, you’ll find the answers to your “own” and “real” questions.
For this woman you’re interested in, asking the day after your first night together would be a better timing. If both of you are feeling a little bit awkward to discuss anything after sex, then just finding a way to discuss it the following day would be better. Words like “thanks for going out with me, I had a great time last night” means she’s in a way responsible for that, this will start to make her feel good already. Then you follow up by saying “I hope you had a wonderful time too”. This will force her to respond to you and most likely be open about discussing the “night before” with you.
One of you has to leave. Now.
No question about it, you had a great time; but you have to leave now. If she is in your place, then she has to leave. But how do you tell? Again, communicate clearly early on what you plan to do afterwards. Do you need to leave right away or do you have to send her home so you could sleep alone for the next busy day? If you’re not looking for a relationship right now then she has to know that too. But however you plan to leave, or make her leave, please do so with tact; never let her feel like she’s a prostitute. To help keep her dignity intact by at least giving her something to smile about. Words like “I really had a great time with you; I enjoyed that story about (something you both laughed about earlier in the night) and this (referring to the recently concluded great sex, of course). If our schedules would permit, I hope we could go out again”. And then you say “let me take you home now so you could rest” – in a manner that feels more like you care than just wanting to ship out. But, if she does want to sleep over then be man enough (chivalrous at least) to oblige. Don’t worry, she won’t stay longer than noon; give her at least that window of time to feel good about herself. Bear with the situation, that’s part of the bargain.
Avoiding too “cheesy” pillow talk
Men and women understand pillow talk differently. It’s understandable that not all men are into this. Some men would rather doze off. Take it as a woman’s way of creating a bond post-sex. She might need to do this so as not to feel she’s allowed herself to be a willing one-night-stand. Remember dignity? But don’t brush off her efforts just yet, simply listen passively and agree by making tiny responses in a low voice or basic head nods or movements. The way you respond will slow down her pace if somehow she’s feeling excited.
Post sex again, here’s another advice: don’t cuddle. Keep a very close distance, hold each other’s hand or lie face to face but avoid cuddling. Hopefully she’ll take the hint that sex is only your boundary breaker, pre or post intimacy is not of your interest at the moment. In other words, help her understand your body languages. If she approaches you for a post-sex intimacy, let her but do not hug back nor lead her on by kissing back. Be as gentle as you can but maintain your distance (emotional, at least).