People apologize because they have done or said something wrong to someone. When you feel sorry about something you did, you also feel weak and unworthy of someone else’s trust. It is better to apologize right away or lose the chance of regaining the other person’s trust. There is nothing wrong in apologizing because it is a sign of humility. However, you can’t accept the fact that others may be thinking that you have become weak; especially when it is an honest apology because it puts you in a situation wherein you truly show how deeply sorry you are to the person receiving the apology. When you apologize, you swallow your pride rendering you powerless – a situation not all people would like to be in. Even if their heart says so, they’ll never apologize so as not to lose their pride.
Some people tend to forget or fail to realize the positive side of apologizing. You feel relieved and stronger when you apologize because you’ve just put your “worst” behind you and you’re forced to change for the better. However, just like saying “I love you” out of thin air and almost every passing time, it makes the phrase irrelevant – in apologizing, making it a habit gesture just for the sake of argument will not make it any truthful or sincere. In other cases, some people tend to abuse themselves in exchange for forgiveness. This is entirely a different story and this is what makes a person weak. Do you have a tendency to be like this?
To avoid this situation, here are some ways to apologize without coming off as weak:
Apologize with dignity
Never apologize like you’re a beggar asking for alms, instead, apologize with conviction and with dignity. Always show your sincerity in every apology you make. Keep in mind that just because you have swallowed your pride to accept your mistakes, you would take some degree of humiliation from other people. You are apologizing because you have recognized right from wrong and with that you are keeping your integrity intact.
A sincere apology benefits the person you are apologizing to by giving him/her the assurance that you feel the same pain, you truly care for that person and that you are deeply sorry for what you have done. On the other hand, it also benefits you by redeeming yourself and making the other person trust you again.
Take full responsibility for your mistakes
When you apologize never make excuses, it will only ruin your sincere intentions. Never apologize with “buts” and “because” or put the blame on someone else; instead, accept your fault and take full responsibility in whatever course of action the other person has to take.
If you are still embarrassed about what you did, write an apology letter
Sometimes, your misunderstanding with another person is just too painful that he/she doesn’t want to see you just yet. If that is the case, then write an apology letter instead. Do this only as your last resort if you can’t apologize face-to-face or handle the intense emotions.
Understand the weight of your mistake
Before you apologize it is important that you first understand the weight of your mistake. After doing so, express your understanding to that person so that he/she will forgive you easily and there will no need for further explanation. A person will only forgive you completely if you will feel the same pain they have felt.
If possible, add some humor
This will help loosen up some tension between the two of you, but do this only after you have sincerely apologized. Take note to add some humor “only” when it is appropriate; never start an apology with a witty joke, it will only make matters worse.
Once you have apologized, move on
To avoid acting weak, after you have asked for sincere apologies and apologies were granted, never repeat asking for apologies again. Asking continuously for apologies even after they have already been given will make you look weak and desperate; you are opening a window for others to disrespect you. Learn to move forward quickly and stop groveling at other people’s feet. Even if after your sincere attempt and apologies were not granted, find out why. Maybe there is something in your relationship with that person that needs fixing. Or maybe the cause of misunderstanding was just too much that it would take some time for that person to forgive you, by all means give him/her all the time they need. The important thing is you’ve done what you needed to do.
Remember to maintain your dignity when you apologize. The truth is, he who doesn’t want to apologize and doesn’t want to admit his mistakes is the weaker person – in contrast to the stronger person who openly admits and makes sincere apologies. Don’t ever let pride stop you from apologizing; it will only hinder you from growing as a mature individual.